Man and Woman: We attract each other – willingly but not without will!
Science has always been concerned with the question of what exactly is responsible for our mate choice. Many books talk about chemical processes and the best possible combinations of DNA that we can “smell” or something like that.
Who of you does not know the situation or has experienced it at least once: You enter a club, a bar or other and at the sight of a very specific man you instinctively know that you will get to know him better this evening. By “getting to know each other better” I basically mean kissing him at the end of the evening, at least flirting with him. In most cases, this “nose” is what you say. Of course, man and woman are equally responsible for their joint action.
The talk is of course a two-sided attraction … But what is this feeling of unrestrained attraction to a very specific person compared to How can it be that a man in the eye jumps at the bar, on the way to the toilet, on the dance floor … always sees you can stand it out in the crowd or even the looks meet.
It’s almost scary how quickly you can get an opinion about an unknown person. On the one hand, it happens that you enter a room and instantly feel sympathy for a very specific person. (It does not matter if it’s a man or a woman, but that’s a whole different topic …) On the other hand, it can happen that you’re annoyed by someone who’s objectively a perfect potential Partner would be. Each of us women has a certain loot scheme.
Nevertheless, it is not necessarily only for men belonging to this category that such magnetic effects occur. We all know the phenomenon now and then, for seemingly unknowable reasons, to be attracted to someone. Of course, these attractions do not always have to be given in. In some cases, it would be very inappropriate for a husband and wife to live that feeling. On the other hand, I say to myself: Only if both want. As a single, I’m always on the move with open eyes and must first assume that he is the man of my dreams.
Sometimes, on the other hand, one has to exercise limited restraint. For example, we all know the unspoken law between girlfriends that the ex is taboo. But we also all know the expression “falling in love with the wrong ones”. Unfortunately, this happens again and again. It does not matter if it’s the girlfriend’s husband, the boss, the iceman, a casual acquaintance or an old friend. Maybe it’s just someone you know will not do you any good. Faster than you think you get into ugly triangle constellations in which always howls in the end.
For my part, I’m no longer really surprised in such situations.
Too often I hear from one of my friends that she has fallen for the wrong people. Then I patiently listen to their complaints about how different men and women are and why life plays such a joke. In such a case, it remains to be seen. Most of the time these fleeting infatuations are done by themselves.
A recipe for how to control one’s own feelings does not (yet) exist. Regrettably, you can not focus your thoughts on rationally selected people and thus somehow provide for mutual attraction. Knowing how to do that would make my life a lot easier, believe me.